Dating Advice for Men - How to Approach Women, Attract Women, and Dating Advice to Meet Girls

CARLOS XUMA -
DATING ADVICE FOR MEN NEWSLETTER:

The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...

Don't forget about the VALENTINE SPECIAL:

Audio Coaching Session 1 and 2 are available for those of you that missed them the first time around. I arranged for some added storage online so you could get them. They come as a package, and you can get them through the end of February only. (Then they'll have to be taken offline for good.)

Check it out here: /session1and2.htm

If you'd like to get your questions answered in this newsletter or the audio coaching, see the instructions at the end of this email.

QUESTION:

I'm a little troubled, because I don't know what to do with a girl who I liked and work in a cigars store, the problem is that in order to talk to her I made up that I wanted it information about cigars because I'll have a birthday's friend and I wanted something to give him.

So I tried to get her interested in the conversation and I felt her a little cold, maybe I was to nice with her. In fact I felt I was acting like a nice guy, smiling and making jokes a lot. So when I said good bye to her, I told her that I'll be back some other day so she can lecture me about the cigars subject, and she said yes anytime sir, so I turned back kind of serious and I told her you can call me Antonio. And some cold silence endured and I went out the store, she said not a thing.

Anyway I left, so what you think I got to do next. or what could I do with another gal, thank for you help, and sorry for the long letter.

-A.R.

CARLOS:

I'm going to sound a bit like a broken record here, but the only way you can find out if a woman is interested in you is to go for the phone number or email. If she doesn't give it, you didn't do the pre-work to get her interested enough. If she does give you her number, she probably has a slight interest, and that's a start. (Yes, there are many women who will give you the number - or a fake one - just to get rid of you, but they are a relatively small percentage.)

However, to get up the nerve to do this, you need to feel okay about either response.

That means being comfortable about the possible rejection. And you don't get that unless you're fairly confident you're going to get the response you want most of the time.

Make sense?

What I mean is that you can't feel good about approaching women if you're always scared they're going to reject you. But the only way to avoid that fear is to approach women enough that you get over it, or never do it at all.

It's a bit of a catch-22.

In this situation, though, this gal had her defenses up, and those have to be BROKEN DOWN before you will get anywhere.

She smelled that you were interested in her and coming on to her before you opened your mouth, and she was trying to avoid that situation. (One of the key indicators was that she called you "sir." If she was doing it jokingly, that's one thing, but not for real.)

You see women in service jobs, like waitresses, clerks, etc., have a special shield up that you have to get past before you'll get anywhere.

Break down her defenses FIRST. Do it without having this obvious goal of hitting on her.

Tease a little. (Don't be "nice." Ick.)

"Does Monica Lewinski get her cigars here?"

"Do you know how those Dominican women roll these on their thighs? I hear that's what makes the cigars special. Actually, with some of those women's thighs, they could roll three or four at once."

Get the idea? Remove the agenda and the obvious sense that you're trying to "hit on" her. Then get her REAL with you.

Real means that she has to be comfortable and at least lower her shield a little. She's playing the role of a salesperson, and you have to reach the WOMAN, not the clerk.

This next one is long, but there's a great lesson in it. Read on....

QUESTION:

Dear Guru,

I am 1LT A---- T----. I returned form the Middle East about five and a half months ago. I started talking to a wonderful girl form Dallas, TX while I was overseas. My cousins put us in contact with one another, and we really hit it off. I started talking to her a lot, and she sent me several packages. I know it doesn't sound like much, but to a soldier on the front it meant the world (especially since it was from a stranger).

I got home (thank God) and I went to Dallas to meet her. I was sitting on the steps of my cousins house when this beautiful woman came in and started playing with the kids. She didn't know I was watching her, but I was in Shock and Awe ! She was so perfect! I asked her out and that night started a 5 month dating relationship (that was nothing short of perfect).

Over the holidays I told her I was starting to fall in love with her and that I wanted to be honest with her about some of my Bad Habits. She is a wonderful Christian Woman (what I am looking for) and I knew some of my darker secrets would bother her, but I wanted to be totally honest. She told me to go ahead and tell her, and I did. Well, it really upset her!!! She said we needed to slow down, and give "us" some time. I understood, and I tried to follow her wishes. Did I mention that I sent her to Paris for Thanksgiving?!?

I didn't and still don't care what it costs, but I want to have her love and affection. I am only 26, but I am a combat veteran and I know what I want; she is it! I don't want to lose the best thing that has ever happened to me! I am not perfect, but I have spent the last 6 weeks trying to better myself (and will continue to do so) so that when I present myself to her she will see a better man that the one she told to, "concentrate on yourself while I concentrate on myself"!

I am back in school and will Graduate in May. I want to give her a few more months to cool off and then in May I want to try to re-establish a dating relationship. I want her to be by my side the night of my graduation, May 22. She is the only person that I want to spend that momentous evening with.

She told me that, "we are not good for each other -- right now" the night we broke up and that gave me hope for the future. I don't know if my hope is a false hope, but if you can think of anything that I might do to improve my chances please let me know.

I am a lost soul, and I need any help you can give me!!! I WANT TO WIN HER BACK, NOTHING ELSE MATTERS!!!!

(Sound of head slapping forehead...)

CARLOS:

Ohboy. Houston, we have a problem.

Let's start with a few questions and observations:

1) Why in the world do you think that honesty will make her want you more? You NEVER tell a woman your feelings or dark secrets in some hope that it will make her want you. Here's what it does:
INITIALLY, it's flattering. THEN IT CREEPS HER OUT. Why? Because she has no precedent or context for this knowledge. Women don't need honesty from you initially.

2) Your feelings were totally out of proportion to the experience. You developed your adoration of this woman in a VACUUM. You were building your emotions all the time you were apart, dreaming of her in your bunk, and writing her letter. She was at home dating lots of guys (i.e., probably not thinking a whole lot about you. Sorry, but it's the truth.)

3) Why did you send her to Paris? Were you there with her? That's great, you send her off to the most romantic city - on YOUR dollar - and all alone. Huh.

CONTINUED...

"So, I'm not sure how I should take what you just said. I know you weren't being disrespectful to me, were you?"

Sometimes you have to say things that you may not feel comfortable saying to women, but they desperately NEED to be said.

Again, if you tune into the moment, you'll find that there's a lot of evidence right there in front of you. You just have to be attentive, and don't be afraid to confront on occasion.

There are so many skills to the dating game, some are subtle and need to be honed, like the instincts that most women take for granted.

Wouldn't you like to develop your fine sense of interpretation with women? To pick up on the same signals she can?

Wouldn't you like to know:
... when a woman is playing you or really interested?
... how to interpret her body language? And how do you best present your own?
... how to meet more hot women?
... how do you get them attracted to you?
... how to stop paying for dates that go NOWHERE?

These were questions I wanted answers to for YEARS, and I finally decided that I was going to get them. I started reading all the books in the bookstore on the topic. When I realized they didn't have the information I needed, I started looking for books that talked about pickups and techniques and the "taboo" information that you couldn't find anywhere else. (I started this before there was an Internet, but not TOO long before. :)

When I got as much as I could find (and that wasn't a lot) I started trying things and experimenting. I got rejected and blasted, and occasionally I also got LAID. I watched why people did things and noticed how they influenced how other people perceived them.

I have spent YEARS and YEARS out there getting battered, deep-fried, and served up as a meal ticket in the world of dating, and there's no reason why you should have to.

Really, do you want to go through 2004 without this powerful knowledge? Do you want ANOTHER year of confusion and poor results to stop you from getting what you deserve?

I've talked to guys the world over who have made a REAL difference in their lives by taking the first step on the right path - learning. Once you understand, your world opens up.

"Thank you, Carlos, for putting the Dating Black Book together.... Instead of promising supersonic seduction with canned speeches, you tell it like it is so you can get results by being yourself � thank you... I have spent hundreds of dollars on other 'information' and yours covers the most topics ... no theory-only B.S. here.

"It would take you hundreds of hours, thousands of dollars and lots of heartache to figure out what Carlos has done for you. If you have ever wondered why the jerks get all the girls - you need this book."
C - Milwaukee, WI

The top-down strategies are EXACTLY what the Dating Dynamics e-book (and audio series) will teach you. Not only do you learn what the subtle psychological aspects are, but how you can AMPLIFY these "ALPHA MAN" traits so that you are able to draw in the women that you want. The only magic you have to add to this equation is the attitude to take action.

CONTINUED...

Listen to Chris from San Francisco, CA, tell you the Straight Truth...

It's all about your Inner Game...

Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW

Click HERE to learn more...

Listen to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work..."I've read every book and studied every system on dating. The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the
		tactics and techniques in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner game.' From
		there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in this game to win it, these are the rules you need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator 

		"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"

- Scot McKay, X & Y Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
		"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
		Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams. I love his game, its 100% real."

- The Dean, Dating4Men.com
		"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical,
		valuable advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many, many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot babes.

		Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded, self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just
		about anything. And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."

- James Brito, How to Be Irresistible to Women
        "Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction' community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction, and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.

		He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women truly crave in a man."

- Grant Adams, CEO - net2bed.com"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior. You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics - it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."

		- Joe Quirk, Author of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"