The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...

Wednesday, 4:07 AM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...

Wow...!

If you missed it, our teleseminar call was FANTASTIC... some great stuff from Scot McKay and CJ Chandler, and we even had a special guest, Big Will Hicks, drop by and throw some awesome material our way.

I've had to take down the link to the file because of the traffic we were getting, but I hope to put it up again for you soon.

Scot and I enjoyed fielding your questions, and we hope to bring you some great new surprises in the future as we plan our next events...

Now, on to this week's newsletter:

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QUESTION: Flaking and Rapport ...

Since [your] Belgrade seminar, my game has improved a lot. I can go out at any time and get phone numbers and turn some of them into dates. I kiss most of the women on the first date.

Now, my biggest problem is flaking. I have been on a 2nd date with a woman, and on a first date with another women. I kissed both of them and the dates went well, both of the girls said at the end of the date "Call me" and "I'll call you".

I contact these women after 2 days, and one of them talks on the phone with me and we're having a good time (yet she makes exuses why she can't meet with me), while the other one didn't pick up my call or returned my SMS.

I don't understand what is going on. Everything went really well, and then they flake out.

I try to build rapport some women (I didn't do it with these 2 mentioned above) by asking your power questions like:

“Dream with me: Where would you live in the world if money were no object?”

Still, they look at me weird when I ask these questions, and they never seem to answer them.

So, if this flaking is about rapport, can you give me some specific ways to build it?

Thanks from the Cobra Man!

CARLOS XUMA'S ADVICE:

Well, I'm not going into the whole "flaking" question again, since I've covered that to death in many previous letters. But I will talk a little about your last observation about rapport and how it's absolutely connected to what you're experiencing with these women.

First of all, when a woman makes excuses or is reluctant to meet with you, you either didn't create enough rapport going when you met her, or you are failing to remind her about the rapport you had.

Most guys get flaked on because they fail to leave a woman with the feeling that she simply MUST see you again.

That's all it boils down to in the end. That ONE objective.

Leave her with the feeling and desire to see you that she can't ignore, and she will find you again.
Think from that point of view.

If your life depended on it, how would you make yourself so memorable that she would HAVE to see you again?

CONTINUED...

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...

You see, if you put your back up against the wall, you'll get very resourceful, my friend. The key here is motivation.

Let me give you a real big rapport-building tool...

When you're asking her a power question, like the one you mention above, and she doesn't respond, which one of you do you think is the 'weird' one in that situation? Her or you?

Chances are, you feel it's YOU that's the weird one, even if on an emotional level, you really know it's not. This moment of doubt you have in yourself must be wiped out and eliminated. You can't afford to let other people shake up your sense of calm and confidence in yourself.

When a woman throws you a curve ball by looking at you weird, try looking back at her weird.

Ask her: "Hey, you're not one of those women who doesn't like to think about the future, are you?"

Now how can she answer that?

That's right - it's a loaded question. She has to either push herself completely into defiance ("Go to hell!") or she has to get back in touch with her self image and be congruent with herself ("Yeah, I like to think about the future...")

Don't give women a choice in the situation, either. When a woman resists agreeing to meet you, you blow right through it.

This is a technique you'll learn in my Alpha Immersion Program...

QUESTION: Older Women and Younger Men

Carlos,

What is up man? Been a while (but if I'm not emailing all the time, as you probably know it means you've taught me enough to handle things on my own). However there's a realization I have had that I'd love to hear the explanation of Carlos Xuma style (since you're less about "game" and more about truth and understanding):

Why is it that younger women want to act like they're disinterested (or seemingly want to...have you noticed this??) when older women treat me like I am basically God's gift to women. ... I find older women aren't shy at all about voicing their interest, showing it, and are easier to seduce (older being typically 27-45...any older and I'd feel like it was one of my mom's friends)

Any tips (mainly how should I calibrate) to handling these younger gals?

Also, what's up with when a woman (this happens a lot of places, but say a party, for simplicity) comes by and isn't necessarily talking to you....by will get really close to your side where you're standing (happens also when posted at a club talking to a friend....or she'll just sit by you for seemingly no reason) and just hang out there?

It's when they really close the proximity to you and you almost HAVE to acknowledge them (if she is attractive) or risk being seen as a wussy by her and yourself.

... It'd be good to understand this though to add to my arsenal of wisdom you've given me to use as recon in the field.

... Much respect.

-Mario

CARLOS XUMA'S ADVICE:

Always remember Occam's Razor.

"The explanation of any phenomenon should make as few assumptions as possible, eliminating, or 'shaving off,' those that make no difference in the observable predictions of the explanatory hypothesis or theory."

You may remember the paraphrasing of this in the movie "Contact" where it's described as:

"All things being equal, the simplest solution tends to be the best one."

In other words, don't look for anything beyond the obvious if you don't have to.

If a woman purposefully enters your sphere of influence, you - as an Alpha Man - now have permission to expand her happiness to new levels by talking to her.

There's always two ways to interpret any situation - the way that benefits you, and the way that does not.

No one's reality is any more valid than your own, so I choose to interpret and enhance my life by making all events work FOR me.

You should, too.

Yes, when it's intentional on her part, there is likely a desire on her part to meet you.

Remember: Women will not actively take the initiative beyond aligning the circumstances. It's up to YOU to make destiny 'happen' for her.

If she were to walk up and talk to you, that would A) go against her programmed gender role, and B) spoil her feeling of mystery and fate that you two should get together.

I once had a woman complain (on occasion) for 2 months that if she hadn't given her card to me, we never would have gotten together. It is SO ingrained in a woman's mind that things should just 'happen.' (When I clarified to her that I was the one orchestrating the circumstances around her giving me her card, the complaints stopped. She was no longer "responsible." Crazy, huh?)

Younger women are still very caught up in what I call their "Disney Programming." She's still holding to a lot of the expectations of society, such as these:

1) She's looking for her knight in shining armor who will sweep her off her feet so she can live happily ever after...

2) She has no sexual desires of her own...

3) Men are the ones looking for uncommitted sex...

4) They must protect their image at all costs...

5) If she doesn't resist you in some way, she's a slut...

And many many more.

She very likely won't lose her programming until later in life... As a matter of fact, just about the time when her first divorce happens and she realizes that she was pandering to the social expectation placed upon her to appear "virtuous."

When a woman lets go of her need to please anyone but herself, she becomes true to herself, and a better partner for you.

So I agree that your biology will always drive you to want to mate (i.e., "bang") younger women, but your ultimate happiness will lie in finding a woman that is self-aware and mature. In my book, no one should get married until they're either over 30, or reached the state I call 'Alpha Readiness.'

Just catch a woman before she's so negatively jaded that she no longer believes in relationships. :)

You guys will be happy to know that I am now dropping almost all of my other work in favor of creating a new program for you that is going to BLOW YOU AWAY.

You're going to learn some secrets of men and women that NO ONE in the pickup community - or anywhere else - is telling you.

PREPARE YOURSELF.

To get the best head start on my new program, you should make sure you are working on your influence and conversation skills.

The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.

Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to approach women . Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.

Discover the secrets to approaching women with no fear of rejection.

Get to the point where you understand everything I said there, not just at a LOGICAL level but at an EMOTIONAL level. Where it hits you in the gut and makes you pace your apartment in utter revelatory disbelief. When it does hit, you'll be changed for good. And for the better.

It's easy to look at the other guys out there who can just walk up and talk to women with no problem as somehow "gifted." They seem almost granted a mystical power that the ordinary guy can't relate to.

It's not magic.

Wouldn't it be great to understand what's going on so that - at the very LEAST - you could avoid feeling "played" or manipulated in the future...?

That's exactly what my e-books will teach you. Not only do you learn what the subtle psychological aspects are, but how you can amplify these "Alpha Man" traits so that you are able to draw in the women that you want. The only magic you have to add to this equation is the attitude to take action.

Every guy that uses the techniques and strategies I teach is more successful than they were before, and most of them become MASSIVELY successful.

Which leads me to this: You know that women are getting more and more picky about men, and they can sniff out inferior guys with just a whiff of your confidence. And to stand out you MUST have the edge on the other guys out there. You need to be a REAL MAN, not this sissie-fied cartoon man that the media and evening television sells you.

My e-book gives you the information and skills to get the women YOU want - not SETTLE FOR.

You've GOT to be an Alpha Man.

Look, there are so many things you have to have down pat in the singles world.
Like, how do you NOT screw it up in those vital first couple minutes of meeting a woman?

Getting laid is not about getting "lucky."

It's about having the right knowledge and understanding up front. Women are actually WAITING for men to date and sleep with, if you'll just give them the right reasons WHY they should be with YOU. It's deliberate and on-purpose, not subject to the whims of chance and fate.

I've worked for years to break down what it is that women are trying to tell you with their behavior, and finding out the hard way why being a "nice guy" is dooming you to failure.

You have to get this knowledge and understanding, or you may risk never being able to turn your game around.

When you have that knowledge, you can make better choices and demonstrate better behaviors.

When you demonstrate better behavior, you will get better RESULTS.

It's all about your Inner Game...

What is Inner Game?

It's your confidence. It's your attitude. You know when a person has this it oozes from them and gives them a comfortable vibe.

But you hear that all the time, don't you?

"Just be confident."

You'll hear that nugget of advice from a lot of guys out there, but the difference is that they'll say "be confident," and not give you ONE single method of actually improving your confidence.

That's where I will help you.

I spent years (and thousands of dollars) trying out various self-help programs, studying my own inner psychology (and inner wuss, too.) I figured out which things make a difference and ...

... I have a plan to help you improve your inner AND outer game with women.

When a woman senses that you've got passions and direction in your life - even if that passion is to improve to be more attractive to women - then they'll want to come along for the ride.

Now, I also mapped this development, and I want you to benefit from my experience. There's no reason you should have to take as long as I did to make these changes to your own life.

A Woman isn't looking for a MAN - She's looking for a "Situation..."

For those of you out there reading this right now that aren't sure how to calibrate to the "Alpha Man" ideal, I have something for you that you will find LIFE-CHANGING.

Click here right now to get started, or just read on...

A lot of the situations guys write in about are a bit unclear because many guys delude themselves as to their real level of success with women. The reality is that most guys DO NOT get what they want from their interactions and relationships with women.

Crappy as that is, there is a cure for the common Lonely Single Guy.

It's called EDUCATION.

It's the only way to stop being a whipped, scared, beta guy and get your love life under your control again.

If you could learn secrets to attract women, would you?

Can you see past your ego defense mechanisms and embrace the power of the Alpha Man?

When you have enough women and action in your life, you won't feel like you need to analyze or chase every chick that comes into your sphere of influence. And that's a good thing. You'll act on it because you've got a sense of abundance in your life.

I know there are some guys who won't understand how these concepts go together, but all success in life is linked together by some common principles.

If you're not getting what you want from life, you need to make some changes.

Stop putting your destiny off until some other 'convenient' time... It's never going to be anything but NOW.

Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW

Click HERE to learn more...

If you want to email Carlos a question, send it only with THIS EMAIL FORM.